some thoughts on red velvet cupcakes

*this is not the cupcake that damani talks about

several weeks ago i sent a text to my bff in ny, damani. for some reason i was directing my scary pregnancy hormones at the poor defenseless red velvet cupcake. i happen to really despise red velvet cake and i was wondering how he felt about it. here is the text i sent him on january 8th:

"i feel like i could create a whole blog about how i feel like the only person on earth who doesn't like red velvet cupcakes. reasons: 1. disgusting amount of red food coloring and yes you can taste it. 2. so over done! they're such a scenestery, trendy food.  so last year. "

wow. bitchy right? i still stand by the too much food coloring gripe. i was just reading a recipe and it calls for two bottles of red no 40. gross!!!! i HATE the taste of red food coloring. aren't you guys repulsed by it? i don't get it. how can i be the only one tasting the weird chemical ear-wax of red dye?!

ok, breathe....i'm done with the rant.  after 20 days, damani replied to my text in an email.  please welcome guest blogger, damani moyd:

Dear Tess,

So, I finally have some input on the whole red velvet issue you texted me bout several weeks ago.  I wasn't sure of  my feelings about this supposedly delicious treat.  Alls I know is that everybody and their Oprah goes on and on and on about it, and I personally never really got it either.  Every red velvet cake i ever ate tasted like easter-egg water.

Before today...

Today I was sent on an errand to pick up an order from Pinini,  a local bakery known for it's SUPERB cupcakes.  I am warmly greeted and after exchanging small pleasantries, I start checking the order.  Chocolate chip, check.  Pistachio, yep.  Banana nut, an order of five.  AND...and, in a box all of their own: red velvet. 

 I think nothing of them.  Not even on the radar.  So I was surprised when Lorraine (baker of said cupcakes) asked me in a coquettishly leading voice, "Have you ever had our red velvet cupcakes?"  "We're known for them."    Have I HAD them?  Like were they sluts known to sailors on leave, legendary for their ability to turn the most loyal of men against their girlfriends and wives, she asked me if I'd HAD them.  "Actually, I'm not a big fan of red velvet."  The look on her face was a combination of hurt and anger, which slowly morphed into an eroticized resolve.  

"Our red velvet cupcakes are the best in New York City.  I would say the best in the world but there IS no world outside New York City."  I was horrified  by her arrogance.  Yet as the aroma of sweet salvation lay at my feet, buckling my knees, I KNEW.

I awakened from my food coma, lying in an alley feeling debased and de-bunked.  Having just eaten a cupcake that can only be described as indescribable, I wondered what this Lorraine woman had endured in her life to be so wise, so RIGHT.  Her arrogance- it's clear to me now- was earned the hard way. 

I don't know if I'm converted.  I don't know if what happened today can be considered a spiritual experience.  What I do know is that someday, when I'm older and the dust on my post-adolescent idealism has settled, I'll be able to tell my children and my children's children that once upon a time on a snowy winter's day in a town called New York City...for one brief moment, I too rode on the red velvet bandwagon.

Hope you're having a good day today

Love, 

Damani

i had fun last night

yesterday at around 4pm, molly reminded me that we had that doheny thing to go to. i was tired and had been imagining myself on the couch in my jayjays reading Watchmen. not wanting to be a big flake, i resigned myself to going. the night was super fun! that's usually how it turns out, i force myself out the door and end up having a great time.

the doheny is this bar downtown where you have to pay membership dues to get in. i've heard different prices; from $2,000/ year to $5,000/ year. i'm too lazy to look up the actual info. go to the angelenic blog for the real deal, i'm sure it's there.

for some reason doheny was open to people without membership last night. all you had to do was rsvp to the dig lounge blog. kogi truck was there, or as i refer to it, "krispy kreme of 2009." there was a huge line for food at the truck and i'll admit i had to play the bun-in-the-oven card to push ahead of my dear friends in line. mochi was so sweet, he went to the garnish table and brought me back orange wedges while i waited.

doheny was classy on the inside. i was expecting flocked damask wallpaper like the golden gopher and broadway bar so it was a nice surprise to see smooth curved wood on the wall and an unfinished loft-like ceiling. the entrance felt so special and nothing at all like other bars. for one thing doheny doesn't employ some weird guido at the door to inspect your license. once you step inside you are in a hall of mirror and glass cases of expensive hooch. it feels quiet and important. once inside the main area it's noisy just like any bar. i quite enjoyed the giant ice cube in my ginger ale even though we all agreed it enabled the bartender to cheap out on your liquor quantity.

15 weeks, 3 days

yay! my belly is finally telling the world, "i'm pregnant!" 

friday y and i are going to meet the new doctor.  i've changed dr.s three times now.  the first dr. must have said, "why are you here?" like three times in my last visit.  i was almost 10 weeks and was there on a scheduled appointment.  he thought i was too early in my pregnancy to be of any importance.  i guess i wasn't supposed to set foot in his office until i was crowning.  what an ass. 

 i never met the second dr., just the nurse practitioner.  she was so amazing.  she invited y and i to sit in her office and ask a bunch of questions.  i felt so at ease with  her.  the problem with this situation was the hospital.  the dr. only delivers at huntington memorial in pasadena.  it's a super swanky regional hospital and when i first found out i was pregnant i HAD to have my baby there.  i had read some internet rumor that they serve champagne after the delivery.

between dr.s one and two y and i saw the documentary, The Business of Being Born.  up until i'd seen it i'd always imagined an epidural, a screaming red-faced me and hopefully a swanky hospital to have the worst day of my life in.  

the documentary completely changed my ideas about labor and really empowered me to make the decision to have a natural childbirth without dr. interventions.  unfortunately huntington memorial, a hospital with tons of technology is known on some of the childbirth boards to have a reputation of lots of c-sections and other interventions i wanted none of.

in the end my friend laura told me about dr. dwight at good samaritan in downtown los angeles.  i'm such a hypocritical downtowner;  i hadn't even checked into good sam because i thought if it was in downtown it must be ghetto.  anyhow, dr. dwight and good samaritan have an excellent reputation for natural childbirth.  i'm hoping that i get an ultrasound on friday, i'd love to see my little peanut.